Metal As Fukk Quotes: TANNEN or TRUMP

Biff Tannen and Donald Trump have a lot in common. Take our quiz and see if you can tell whether these words came from the mouth of an entitled megalomaniac casino-owning mysoginist or a jump-suit clad Hill Valley auto-detailer. 1. “That’s about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.” 2. “The beauty of…

Metal As Fukk Star Wars Tattoos

The Force may be awake but The Dark Side’s mid wet dream about that Tatooine stripper with a Death Star inked above her thermal reactor port.                                                 

Metal As Fukk Reasons To Get A One-Way Ticket To Mars

Carbon-based life-forms bring you nothing but heartache. One man’s interstellar suicide is another man’s fukkin pilgrimage… A thin atmosphere with 96% Carbon Dioxide and only .2% Oxygen means you’re high from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep. Or until your lungs combust. Without an Ozone to filter UV radiation,…

Metal As Fukk BLIZZARDS

When the weather outside is frightful, there’s no treat more fukkin’ delightful than Tha Queen’s gravity-defying cupful of frozen heaven… now available in the following flavors… Clown Soul Suicidal SnowMan Lizard Pieces Skull Fragments & Old Teeth Gay Dragon Turds Blood Sausage & Baby’s Breath Eskimocha Crunch Chocolate-Covered Communion & Mustard Teenage Breast Milk &…

Metal As Fukk Rockers Selling You Shit Other Than Rock

After you’ve sold your soul to the devil, you’re free to sell pretty much fukkin anything… Lemmy Kilmeister Kit Kat Bars Slash Volkswagons Alice Cooper Marriot Residence Inns Peter Frampton Geico Car Insurance Steven Tyler Sony Cybershot Cameras Spinal Tap IBMs Ted Nugent Energizer Batteries Gene Simmons Cherry Dr. Peppers Ozzy Osborne Pepsi Twists Hellvetica…

Metal As Fukk Tax Deductions

When you’re in the business of keeping it metal, you can get away with writing-off a lot of crazy expenses. Just remember to keep your fukkin receipts… Axes Guitar Picks Condoms ChapSticks Cattle Speculums Throwing Stars (w/ Carrying Case) Burnt-Down Mansions The Daniels Family Dynamite Harpoon Guns Tattoo Guns Tattoos Of Guns Gerbils