‘Cuz nothin’ gets the creative juices flowing like gutting a hooker…
Nicolas Claux (The Vampire Of Paris), “Self-Portrait”
A wicked bedroom-eyed selfy by a cannibalistic mortuary assistant. During a search of his apartment in 1994, Paris police found vertebrae and leg bones hanging from his ceiling, surgical instruments and a refrigerator filled with bags of blood. Turns out Nico was eating bodies at work and taking leftovers home.
Arthur John Shawcross (The Genesee River Killer), “Parrots”
Shawcross murdered and chopped up a dozen Upstate New York prostitutes while on parole for molesting and killing two children. He also painted tropical parrots on cardboard in wacky colors, on sale for $340 online.
John Wayne Gacy (The Killer Clown), “Sex Skull”
Little known fact: during Pogo The Clown’s first stint locked up (for sexually assaulting a teenage boy) he talked the Iowa State Prison Board into installing a miniature golf course in the yard. During his second stint (for assaulting and murdering 33 teenage boys) he painted this bloody skull made of dismembered butts, bushes and boners.
Ronald and Reginald Kray (The Kray Twins), “Warriors”
These ultra-violent Brits ran organized crime in London’s East End in the 1960s. True stories: Reg tried to kill Ron at age nine, and Ron used to fukk around with the UK Conservative Party’s Lord Boothby. Their intellectually inquisitive art is currently up for auction in London for huge price tags. Yes old chap, I do believe that is a samurai about to slice a viking.
Herbert Mullin “California”
Herb Mullin was a paranoid schizophrenic who murdered 13 people in California in the early 1970s because the voices in his head told him it was the only way he could prevent earthquakes. He killed people at random, including his weed dealer, his weed dealer’s wife and kids, some campers and the priest as he confessed to all this. You can buy this acrylic landscape of mountains and foothills on a murderabelia website for $120.
Adolf Hitler, “Portrait”
They say if you lack originality in your composition, you might wanna try becoming a genocidal megalomaniac. Before he leveled half the globe, Hitler painted this watercolor of an aryan young man contemplating his place in the world above a babbling brook.
John Wayne Gacy (The Killer Clown) “Dwarf’s Baseball”
Yeah, Pogo again, but hear us out. While in jail, Gacy painted this adorable little gem of Doc from the Seven Dwarves playing every position in America’s Game against an unnamed Chicago Cubs batter. An art dealer then went around to autograph conventions and got Ted Williams, Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle, Joe Dimaggio and a ton of other Hall Of Famers to sign it, never telling them who painted it . That’s like rawdawgin’ a bald eagle on Fourth of July and using The Declaration of Independence for a cum rag.
Charles Rosset (Little Charlie), “It’s You Riding A Raptor While It Eats a Ballerina”
Full disclosure: this piece is by my friend’s hyper-articulate four-year-old son who is not a serial killer. Yet. Charlie insists on keeping his nails painted a specific shade of blue and recently made the family cat spend the night in their turned-off oven. So I’ve got a hunch this finger painting’s gonna be worth a brick on e-bay in 25 years.