Metal As Fukk Interview: George Marshall

MAF mag pic 2
George Marshall has been a Metal As Fukk Sound Guy on the road for the past 30 years, mixing everybody from Twisted Sister to Public Enemy to Megadeath to Hilary Clinton. We caught up with him after a gig the Skogsröjet Festival in Rejmyre, Sweden.

Metal As Fukk: Who the fukk are you?

George Marshall: I’m the guy who puts a mic in front of rock stars and makes them loud as fukk. The guy who makes sure that on the tiny island of Pago Pago you have your 50 Marshall stacks, your 60 piece drum kit, your 70 thousand k of lighting and your 90 fukkin million watt audio rig. I’ve earned every ulcer.

MAFkk: What was the most trouble you ever got into on the road with Twisted Sister?

GM: End of summer weekend, Freemont Street, Vegas. Like Mardi Gras on steroids- legal open alcohol, people are complete piles. Chicks with their tits out, guys with their junk out. Who gets busted for J-Walking? ME!!

MAFkk: What’s the most Metal As Fukk guitar tone?

GM: Kerry King on the “Metal Masters” Tours- fukkin BRUTAL! My colon is still going to therapy twice a week.

MAFkk: What’s the most Metal As Fukk Christmas Carol?

GM: Silver Bells. Silver’s a great metal. And a great investment. Just ask any broker.

MAFkk: Would you rather be eaten by a Dragon or a Killer Whale?

GM: Dragon.

MAFkk: Why?

GM: His bite would shred my entrails and I would have gained glorious entry into Valhalla. The whale would just swallow me. I’d rot in it’s stomach and get farted out as hot water bubbles.

MAFkk: Chuck D vs. Barack Obama, battle to the death, who wins?

GM: Chuck D! No fukkin contest! All Chuck would have to do is open his mouth and release a furious fist of educated verbal truth- it would obliterate Obama’s full-of-shit conniving brain so quickly his entire head would implode. Welcome to the Terrordome, Barack Baby.

MAFkk: What’s the most Metal As Fukk way to get arrested in a foreign country?

GM: Dress up as Gary Coleman and start screaming over and over “What The Fukk You Talkin’ ’bout Willis??!!” at a Customs and Immigration agent.

MAFkk: What the fukk happened to shredding?

GM: The machine broke and I’m waiting for them to go on sale at Office Max. Oh wait, that kind of shredding? 75 percent of the new guys SUCK! Except the cats coming out of Nashville- they got toddlers still in diapers down there that can play their asses off.

MAFkk: What animal specifically is Twisted Sister’s bass player, Mark “The Animal” Mendoza?

GM: Paddington Bear. I’m getting fired for this one.

MAFkk: Set the record straight for the peasants- Bow Hunting?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Fish Sticks?

GM: Not Metal As Fukk. Although the Exorcist-like projectile vomiting they induce can be quite Metal.

MAFkk: Michael J. Fox Now?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Energy Drink Machines?

GM: Not Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Panty Vending Machines?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Sleeveless Shirts?

GM: Not Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Coupons?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: The End of Bambi?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: The End Of Days

GM: Not Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: The Oregon Trail

GM: Metal As Fukk

MAFkk: The Trail of Tears

GM: Not Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Tiger Woods

GM: Metal As FUKK! Has it all, then blows it all because of a chick, drops out of sight, she gets a fukkwad of $$$, goes out on a “Comeback Tour” (PGA) to try to rebuild his career… that’s not a golfer, that’s a Lead Singer!!!

MAFkk: Seigfried And Roy’s Tiger?

GM: Not Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Strip Club Lunch Buffets?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: Blanche from Golden Girls?

GM: Metal As Fukk.

MAFkk: General Tso?

GM: Metal As Fukk!

Gorge Marshall1

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