Metal As Fukk Band of the Week: Protest The Hero

Yeah, they look like the most Canadian motherfukkers on the planet. But trust us, these guys can can throw down. Here are six Metal As Fukk reasons why Protest The Hero should be your new favorite band.

1. They’re fukkin’ brutal.

Over the course of a song, singer Rody Walker bounces from operatic arias to tortured screams to growling Cookie Monster tantrums. Meanwhile, guitarist Luke Hioskin shreds through pentatonic solos like Eddie Van Halen with a Red Bull IV drip.

2. They’re, like, all deep and shit.

If you’re a nerd who’s studied his scales and sticking patterns, these guys are right up your alley. And the dudes geek out like the best of ’em: check out their Canuck version of SABOTAGE with winks to Le Mans, Ghostbusters 2 and every emo video ever made. And yup, you did hear the line “her scent on my fingers” in that chorus.

3. They’re funny as fukk.

Check out this video where they’re Flying Monkeys trying to make it on their own in the shitty real world after the Witch has croaked.

4. They told their label to fukk off.

Sick of singin’ and dancin’ for the man, in January 2013 the band split with Vagrant Records and took creative control of their music. They set out to raise $125,000 to fund their upcoming album on IndieGogo, offering fans t-shirts, hand-written lyrics, pizza parties over the rhythm guitar player’s house (for $1,250) and the opportunity to sing on the album (for $5,000). They sold 3 Pizza Parties and 4 Guest Vocal Spots. In this video they kick out the jams for the scruffy firing squad about to execute them (featuring the greatest blindfolded guitar solo ever caught on film).

5. That shit actually worked.

The boys ended up raising $341,146 from their rabid fans who just can’t get enough of their candy-coated arsenic. Hopefully they spend all that extra money on a few more sailor costumes, speedboats and heavy artillery. (Ever wonder why the Canadian Navy never helped out in The Persian Gulf? ‘Cuz they’re too busy gettin’ their hustle on, eh!)

6. They made a video about suicide, but couldn’t be bothered to get up out of their fukkin’ chairs.

Teenage suicide is a tragedy. But do mind if I shred this solo from my seat? My dogs are barkin’!

Protest The Hero’s new album “VOLITION” hits stores on 10/29/2013. Line starts right here.

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