Metal as Fukk Objects Found In The Indian Ocean While Searching For Flight 370

The search continues til the black box batteries burn out or somebody finds a charred set of dentures floating on the surface. Until then, here’s the unofficial list of what the hi-tech multi-mlillion dollar international effort has recovered:

A Plastic Bag

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Shark-Nibbled Osama Bin Laden

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A BlueRay Disc Of SPEED 2

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An Old Shoe

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The Previously Unleashed And Currently Unemployed Kraken

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Aziz Ansari

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That Limp-Finned Whale From BLACKFISH

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Slutty Evil Ariel

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Captain Ron

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The Decomposing Corpse Of Allstar Seaworthy

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Christopher Columbus’ More Lost & Less Successful Younger Brother, Kevin Columbus

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